Category Archives: Rants

You kids get the hell off my lawn!

Bread and Circuses

I went to Costco today. They had the normal entrance blocked off and routed people through the cart entrance. (T-W-Th 8-9am are old people hours). They had the walk along the side of the building partitioned with pallets and carts. We had to walk down the sidewalk, around the end and back to the entrance. We got our carts but had to wait in line because they were limiting how many people could be in the store. They had TVs playing a PSA loop featuring Drs. Fauci and Birx, and Dr. Jerome Adams, the US Surgeon General, explaining why we have to keep six feet (or one alligator) distance between us.

We got to go in when some number of people exited. The meat counter was pretty much empty. No ground beef, save for a few packages of “organic” stuff: 4lbs  that was going for about $21. Two packages of stew beef. High end beef going for $30/lb. Five six-packs of boneless chicken breasts. No thighs, no whole chickens. There was plenty of salmon and tilapia as fish doesn’t have the same processing plant issues (and likely because it’s too healthy for some people).

They had plenty of fresh Italian sausage in the pork section. I suspect they ground up what little pork they had left to stretch it out. I also saw a lot of the Kirkland bratwurst (which I think is better and bigger than Johnsonville’s brats). The freezer section had a lot of prepackaged stuff like beer battered cod, pulled pork, sirloin burgers and half a pound of blackened mahi-mahi for $20. Ouch.

Most people kept their distance, pausing at aisle intersections like 4-way stops, but some wandered aimlessly, oblivious to their surroundings and crowding the rest of us. One poor older woman was asking if Costco was handing out masks; the staffer said, “It’s OK for now; you don’t have to wear a mask until May 1.”

One Costco staffer directed people to the checkouts as they became available. The cashiers were behind 2×6 ft acrylic barriers and everything seemed to go smoothly. But everyone looked grim. As Walter would say, “Get your shit and get out!”

We are fortunate there are only two of us. We aren’t waiting for an unemployment check that won’t come anytime soon because the unemployment website is overwhelmed, and no one can apply (or was deliberately sabotaged by a cruel governor). We don’t have a houseful of kids that we have to home school while also working at home and THEN have to worry about feeding after a long day. We’re not in unimaginably long lines at food banks.

We’re the richest country in the world and our government is wasting $8,000 and 1,200 gallons of fuel per hour per jet flying twelve F-16s over cities filled with people who can’t go out of their apartments. If they do, they’re ignoring social distancing, so why bother mandating something people can conveniently ignore? It’s more of a tribute to a feckless leader than to the people risking – or taking – their lives. Bread and circuses.

Soon, we may have no bread, only circuses.

© Can Stock Photo / kvkirillov

Compared to What?

(Please forgive my absence. The last two months have been a bit chaotic.)

This was too good to pass up.

Number One son, my clone in personality if not appearance, started a discussion on Facebook: So… at what point does the MiniTrue behavior of the current administration become an actionable problem?

A friend of his responded: Ah the ministry of truth telling you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears.

My first thought on seeing “Mini-True” was Verne Troyer. I remember a few of Orwell’s unique terms – Big Brother, thoughtcrimes, doublespeak and the homeland Oceania – but not the contraction MiniTrue. I asked Peg and she didn’t remember it either.

Number One Son: Ministry of Truth. S’newspeak
The Old Man: Millennial shorthand again.
Number One Son: Jesus dad did you even READ the book?

Yeah, numbnuts, I read 1984 in 1969 when I was a high school freshman. And Animal Farm. And Brave New World, though I’ve never read Lord of the Flies. One my high school buddies called me Piggy because I had “assmar” (asthma).I had an image of Julia I based on a blonde from a beer ad in TV Guide. Years later when I saw the 1956 film version of 1984 with Edmund O’Brien as Winston Smith, Jan Sterling’s Julia came pretty close to what I’d imagined.

I grew up during a time that was similar to what’s going on now but, in its own way, far uglier, although Peg thinks the present is worse. Black people were still being lynched in the South during the 1960s. Detroit and other inner cities burned in 1967 as black people rioted against police brutality, poverty and racism. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Bobby Kennedy were assassinated within a couple of months of each other in 1968, killing our hopes of racial harmony and a return to Camelot.

Our collective stomachs knotted as we watched old men on television randomly drawing birth dates for the draft. We were in a war in Vietnam we could never win, and our leaders knew it.  Fifty thousand US troops died. So did an estimated 1.3 million North and South Vietnamese soldiers, along with 2 million Vietnamese civilians. The American casualties in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria are far lower, but the faulty rationales for “bringing freedom and democracy to you savages” persist.

College campuses exploded. The Students for a Democratic Society (SDS), founded in Ann Arbor, Michigan organized “teach-ins” (a.k.a. “preaching to the choir”) and antiwar protests. The Weather Underground Organization didn’t think the SDS was militant enough, split off in 1969 and started a bombing campaign targeting banks and government buildings. Diana Oughton, who grew up in Dwight, Illinois, about 15 minutes from where I lived in Streator, died in a Greenwich Village apartment when the bomb she was building exploded prematurely. She was only 28.

The 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago was eclipsed by Chicago cops tear-gassing and beating the crap out of protestors. Mike Wallace and Dan Rather, CBS reporters who would become legends, were assaulted on national TV. Chicago Mayor Richard J. Daley, whom columnist Mike Royko called “The Great Dumpling,” made his infamous proclamation: ““The policeman isn’t there to create disorder, the policeman is there to preserve disorder.”

On October 15, 1969, a few million people around the country – mostly young, some older – joined The Moratorium to End the War in Vietnam. Our high school administration had banned wearing black armbands in honor of the day, prompting several seniors to walk out and assemble at the American Legion memorial in the city park. I wore an armband home that day. My stepfather called me a Communist and said the kids at the memorial should have been lined up and shot. I’d never thought of him having any political inclinations and I was surprised as hell. I picked a side that day and I’ve never wavered.

American Legion Memorial, Streator, IL

Six of my high school friends and I read How Old Will You Be in 1984?, a collection of essays from high school “underground” papers around the country. We would all turn 30 in 1984, the age at which we thought as teenagers, adults could no longer be trusted — a sobering thought. (The irony is I now think of thirty as “young and stupid,” and I don’t trust people my age when they have money and power.)

We printed four editions of “The Paper,” our naïve attempt to change the hearts and minds of high schoolers in a blue collar town. Dennis’ dad gave us access to a mimeograph machine; we printed them on pastel paper and sold them for a dime. I still have some of them left, crumbling in a manila envelope somewhere in our basement. It got us mentioned in a much larger collection, The Movement Toward A New America: The Beginnings of a Long Revolution., but not much else.

USA Today ran this opinion on September 6, 2019: “If things are so bad under President Trump, why aren’t we seeing larger protest movement?“  My snarky comment was “Because people won’t look up from their cell phones.” They aren’t willing to risk being teargassed, beaten or shot for what they may view as an exercise in futility. There have been a few symbolic protests and arrests but nothing that has altered minds or policy.

learned protesting doesn’t accomplish shit. My generation wanted a “revolution,” but it didn’t turn out as we’d hoped. Not even close. The only things we “accomplished” were President Lyndon Johnson decided not to run for re-election, and the backlash from the riots killed Hubert Humphrey’s chances of winning. The US didn’t pull out of Vietnam for another 5 years. We got Richard Nixon as President, his war on drugs and his eventual resignation for the Watergate cover-up. Republicans are still fighting the culture wars, even though all of us dirty hippie godless Commies are grandparents and more worried about our 401k’s than sticking it to The Man. (Click here for a story about the couple on the Woodstock album cover, married for almost 50 years!)

Pissing and moaning on Facebook may be cathartic. Signing online petitions to your weasels in Congress might make you think you’re doing something, but it doesn’t. Voting helps but only to a point. Each person can vote for two Senators, one Congressional Representative and the President. I can’t vote Moscow Mitch, Ted Cruz or lunatics like Louie Gohmert out of office. You could elect Jesus Christ Himself as President and as long as the GOP controls Congress, you ain’t getting shit.

Change is incremental and requires fundamental shifts in public opinion. Civil rights, voting rights, gay marriage and legalized marijuana didn’t happen overnight. Bernie’s minions should stop hoping for a “progressive” miracle worker with a magic wand and work towards changing Congress instead of whining about how the DNC “screwed” him in 2016.

Trump’s base will crawl on their knees over hot coals to vote. Millennials and Gen X’ers will comprise more than half of next year’s eligible voting population, almost twice the number of Baby Boomers (whom some of them blame for their misery). They are in a much better position to alter our country’s course because they have more to lose by doing nothing.

In 1969, Les McCann and Eddie Harris performed “Compared to What?” at the Montreux Jazz Festival. Some things haven’t changed in fifty years

“The President, he’s got his war
Folks don’t know just what it’s for
Nobody gives us rhyme or reason
Have one doubt, they call it treason
We’re chicken-feathers, all without one nut. God damn it!
Tryin’ to make it real, compared to what? (Sock it to me)”

We still have a long way to go.

Illustration © Canstock Photo / Satori

Compared to What? By Gene McDaniels. © 1966

Changes

When I was in medical school an instructor admitted, “Half of what we teach you is wrong. The problem is, we don’t know which half.”  I could say the same about residency. Some of what I learned as an intern fell out of favor by the time I was a chief resident, such as x-ray pelvimetry to determine a woman’s likelihood of delivering vaginally, or the internist’s casual approach to glucose control in diabetic pregnant women.

The pendulum continued to swing over the next thirty some years of my career. We went from “Once a (Cesarean) section, always a section,” to “Every woman should be offered the chance to deliver vaginally after a Cesarean,” to “Let’s put a little thought into who should be doing this!”

I did a rotating internship after medical school because I had no idea which direction I should take. Obstetrics was the last thing on my mind because the physician with whom I had the most contact could be sarcastic and demeaning. That changed during two months of obstetrics in a completely different environment. I ended up taking the second-year position vacated by one of the first-year obstetrical residents who left to fulfill his three-year obligation to the U.S. Air Force. (I heard he went into radiology when he got back.)

Fast forward three decades. I was working as a locum tenens physician for the medical school I’d once attended. My old obstetrical tormentor had retired from practice but continued to be heavily involved in student and resident teaching. The years had mellowed him, or maybe it was because he didn’t have the stress and burden of a private practice.

One afternoon he asked to join me while I was doing an abdominal hysterectomy. I doubt that he remembered me from so long ago, but I was honored that he’d ask and was truly interested in what I was doing. The circle was completing; the student was now the master and the master was now “master emeritus.” Side note: I’ve never been cocky enough to consider myself a “master.”

A few months ago, I met a delightful young medical student doing her obstetrical rotation. She is intelligent, capable, ambitious and learns quickly. She began her first year as an ob/gyn resident in July, which has prompted me to reflect on what has changed since I was the youngster under the gaze of my mentors, some of whom were approaching retirement.

Ultrasound:  Ultrasound has been around since the early 1960s, but the first images looked more like abstract paintings than recognizable body parts. The ultrasound tech would swipe the transducer – a thing about the size of a restaurant salt shaker – that sent and received sound waves – back and forth across a woman’s abdomen. The results looked like this:

I couldn’t tell you what this was, and we suspected neither could most radiologists. More than once we would explore a woman’s abdomen because a radiologist swore “there is definitely an ectopic pregnancy present,” and find nothing.

Ultrasound has evolved. Machines can produce three dimensional images in real time, check on blood flow into and out of organs and measure minute structures in developing fetuses. Emergency departments now have FAST ultrasounds (Focused Assessment with Sonography in Trauma) which can rapidly detect internal bleeding or a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) at the bedside, obviating the need for a CT scan. It’s much better than the old way of diagnosing a ruptured tubal pregnancy, which was sticking an 18-gauge needle through the posterior vagina into the pelvic cavity looking for non-clotting blood.

Gonorrhea testing: Neisseria gonorrhoeae, the bacterium causing gonococcal infections, grows best within an oxygen-poor environment. We used to take a sample from a woman’s cervix, smear it across a culture plate, then stick it in a one-gallon pickle jar with a lit candle and close the lid, burning off the oxygen. By the end of the day we’d have 20 or so culture plates in the jar and the room would smell like burnt wax. Now we look for gonorrhea (and chlamydia) DNA on a cervical swab or in a urine sample.

Fetal monitors and intrauterine pressure catheters: Fetal monitors, which track a baby’s heart rate and a mother’s contractions, were introduced in the late 1960s and early 1970s.  Both were accomplished with devices placed on the mother’s abdomen, but the results often were inaccurate. The scalp electrode, created in 1972 by the venerable Dr. Ed Hon, allows us to monitor the baby’s heart directly.

The modern intrauterine pressure catheter (IUPC) measures contractions through a solid, transducer-tipped catheter threaded into the uterine cavity. The early catheters were fluid-filled tubes connected to a small strain gauge transducer which required a dome of water placed directly on the pickup before the cover was screwed on. The transducer then had to be taped to the bed rail at approximately the same height as the uterus.  Sometimes we’d use a tongue depressor and thick adhesive tape to keep it in place. Then we’d open a stopcock to “zero out” the system, close the stopcock and hoped it all worked.

Determining ruptured membranes: Back in the old days we determined if a woman had “broken her water” by inspecting the vagina with a speculum for amniotic fluid, testing any visible fluid with nitrazine paper, and then slapping some fluid on a slide, letting it dry and look through the microscope for “ferning.” If there was any question, we’d have the woman wear a pad and check for fluid an hour or so later, or, in rare cases, inject indigo carmine dye into the uterine cavity and look for blue fluid in the vagina.  When ultrasound came into widespread use, we looked at fluid levels around the baby.

Then a company created an expensive test to check for an amniotic fluid protein to determine whether membranes had ruptured. Their ad campaign preyed on all our fears by asking, “Are you really, really, absolutely, positively sure?” Hospital administrators took away our nitrazine paper and microscopes because now they had a test for which they could bill. Doctors liked it because it meant they didn’t have to stagger out of bed in the middle of the night to do an exam, or so they thought.

Then in August 2018 the FDA issued an alert reminding physicians “that the labeling for these tests specifies that they should not be used on their own to independently diagnose…ROM (rupture of membranes) in pregnant women.”

A Korean study found a positive test in a third of women in labor with intact membranes. A review of ROM testing published in The Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology of Canada was cautiously optimistic about protein assays although they cautioned “Further studies are needed to assess the reliability of the test according to the time from membrane rupture.” So what would make the critics happy?

We do our best, but nothing is perfect.

Hysterectomy: Vaginal hysterectomy has been compared to rebuilding an engine through the tailpipe. The Grand Old Man of vaginal hysterectomies attached to my residency program retired during my second year, so I learned to take out uteri through an abdominal incision. Not that I couldn’t do a vaginal hysterectomy, but I liked being able to see what I was doing. Few things are worse than fishing for a bleeding artery through a vagina.

Laparoscopic-assisted vaginal hysterectomy (LAVH) started to become popular in the 1990s, but the learning curve was steep. I knew physicians who spent seven hours on their first few LAVHs after going to a weekend course, which is no substitution for extensive residency training.

The alleged advantage of LAVH was being able to detach the tubes and ovaries under direct visualization, but one still had to finish the procedure vaginally. Most of the required equipment was disposable and expensive, making it 40% more expensive than a traditional vaginal hysterectomy. Some of us thought LAVH made up for a lack of skill.

Robotic surgery started becoming popular in the early 2000s, but robots were used more for marketing than for patient benefit, and they weren’t cheap. A robot cost $1-$2.5 million up front and came with a $100,000 to $170,000 annual service contract , enough to give any hospital bean counter palpitations.

But, after years of experience and refinement, doing a hysterectomy exclusively with laparoscopic equipment made total laparoscopic hysterectomy (TLH) a truly “minimally invasive surgery.” One surgical assistant told me taking the detached uterus out at the end was like uncorking a bottle. More than one study found there was no advantage to using robotics over TLH. I suspect many of those machines will be gathering dust in closets, sitting next to $100,000 carbon dioxide lasers used to treat precancerous cervical lesions before LEEP (wire-loop cautery used to whack out a chunk of cervix) became popular.

Employment: Physicians were masters of their domains for most of the twentieth century. In the early days, you graduated from medical school, did a year internship to get a license and hung out a shingle as a general practitioner.  Specialties (and specialty boards) started appearing during the 1950s, along with residency programs lasting three to seven years, and the old GP would become extinct. Physician practices were still largely independent even into the 1990s. Being employed by a hospital or, worse yet, a “goddam HMO” made you a substandard physician who couldn’t get a job anywhere else in the eyes of the Great White Fathers who still ran things.

But, as I’ve previously discussed, things have changed. By 2017 less than half of American physicians owned their own practices, especially in metropolitan areas. I live in the Chicago suburbs where a large majority of private practices have been absorbed by large medical groups and/or hospitals. New physicians expect to be employed rather than deal with the headaches inherent in independent practices: personnel, equipment, rent, taxes and liability insurance, which can run $150,000 a year for an ob/gyn. We gave up autonomy for financial security and lost both in the process.

Patient care and ownership: The generation of physicians before me cringed when administrators used terms like “customer service,” but in their hearts they knew what it meant. They took good care of their patients because those patients were their livelihood. In a group practice the patients were all OUR patients, rather than MY patients and YOUR patients.

Primary care developed “concierge care” as a backlash to corporate medicine. Concierge care promises same day or next day appointments, access to one’s physician 24/7, unhurried visits and “personalized care,” or what I used to know as “doing my damn job!”  I’ve called patients with test results, talked to them at all hours of the night and I made at least one house call to check on a patient’s Cesarean section incision that had opened up.

This “white-glove customer service” comes with annual fees ranging from $1000  to a whopping $25,000! And that is just for the privilege. Actual care still costs money. You can’t use Flexible Savings Account (FSA) or Health Savings Account (HSA) money for the fee, so this isn’t an option practical for the masses.

I’d like to think there’s a new generation of physicians willing to fix what’s broken for everyone, but I’m not holding my breath.

An Epidemic of Stupidity

I’ve declared the third week of July as National Health Care Stupidity Week, for I’ve never encountered such high levels before.

I saw an ophthalmologist for a problem with my left upper eyelid at the beginning of July and scheduled surgery for three weeks later. We asked the scheduler how much the procedure would cost but she said, “It depends.” That’s not much of an answer to a physician who understands the vagaries of CPT coding and insurance reimbursement. You give the insurance company the codes and your charges. The insurance company laughs their asses off and then tell you “No fucking way. THIS is what we’ll reimburse you.”

The scheduler said, “I’ll ask the doctor what he plans on doing and I’ll call you in two days with the charges.”

I can understand if the physician wasn’t quite sure what he was going to be doing right after seeing me, so we let it go.

The week’s aggravation started at Drugs ‘R’ Us, a national chain, which the threat of litigation prevents me from identifying. I’ve used a maintenance inhaler for life-long asthma, for which there is NO generic. The price has climbed from a $150 insurance copay for a three-month supply from a parasitic mail-order pharmacy benefit manager to $400 for one and NO insurance coverage until (my very high) deductible is met. I brought this up to my pulmonologist last month and asked for a little-known generic equivalent (different medications but should have the same therapeutic benefit).

He said, “Well, Thieving Bastards Pharmaceuticals have this discount card that will give it to you for free if you have insurance. It’s good until December 2018.”

I learned a long time ago there ain’t no free lunch, but if they are willing to part with it for free, I’m in. I took it to Drugs ‘R’ Us and, after 20 minutes or so of fighting with the computer, I got my inhaler. ONE inhaler. I have to go back every month for this charade.

The pharmacy’s robot phone said I could pick up this month’s inhaler. However, the pharmacy tech brought me a bag with three inhalers and a bill for $935 “because you haven’t met your deductible.” No shit, Sherlock. I have insurance with a high deductible and a health savings account (HSA) which is great at a certain income level but completely useless if you’re making minimum wage (in which case you probably don’t have any insurance and you’re a drain on society, at least according to the bastards who’ve been trying to undo the ACA for the past 8 years).

“Last time I got one and it was free! Here’s the card and I’m NOT going to pay almost a thousand bucks for this. I’d rather die a quick and painless death.” (I’m using that phrase more often these days.)

“Well, let me change it but I have to run it through the system again. It’s going to take some time.”

Fine. I sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the pharmacy waiting area and perused the local paper, which didn’t help my mood any.

Then my phone rang.

“Hi, this is Brunhilda from the Pretentious Suburban Surgery Center. Your insurance is going to pay 80% of the procedure after you’ve met your deductible, but you haven’t met your deductible, so we want your left testicle ($1305) as a down payment.”

“First of all, why? Second, what is this going to cost me in total?”

“Well, we ask everyone for a down payment.”

No, you said it was because I hadn’t met my deductible but, please, proceed.

“Why? This isn’t a cosmetic procedure and I’ve already signed the boilerplate insurance assignment form that says I’m responsible for the remainder.  So, again, what is this going to cost me?”

“We can’t tell you what we charge, and the insurance company won’t let us tell you what they will pay us.”

“Why not?”

“It’s in our contract.”

“You’d tell me if I was paying for all of this out of pocket, wouldn’t you?”

Silence

“Well, my financial adviser has told me that’s not a great idea. I’ve got an HSA funded with pretax dollars and if I overpay you and you then reimburse me directly, I might run afoul of the IRS, which is not known for being gracious.  Would you be willing to talk with her as I have to leave town in a few minutes?” (Translation: “If I acquiesce to this extortion, Peg is going to ream me a new one. We’re going to play good cop/bad cop and I’ll let her ream you a new one. You really don’t want to poke this bear, but you’re gonna have to learn the hard way.”)

She says, “I’d be happy to!” and I hung up, snickering.

An older woman came to the pharmacy while I was waiting. She was bent over a wheeled walker, wheezing audibly as she shuffled up to the counter. I suspect she had long-standing COPD and it made my lungs hurt just to hear her breathe.

“They called me and told me my prescriptions were ready.”

“What’s the name?”

She wheezed her name.

“Your prescriptions have expired, and we put a call into your doctor’s office to get authorization for refills.”

“But someone called me and asked if I wanted all my prescriptions refilled. She even listed all of them and I said ‘yes!’ Then I got a phone call from you!”

“That is an automated system and we don’t have any control over it.”

This went on for several minutes with the poor woman protesting that she’d done everything she’d been told but slowly realized this trip had been for naught.

Finally, she sighed, said, “Well, what are you gonna do,” turned around and shuffled out. She was far more resigned than I ever would have been. ( is one of my all-time favorite revenge movies. Just sayin’.)

The pharmacist came out, handed my drug card back to me and said, “We put in a phone call to the company and we’re waiting to hear back. It shouldn’t be too long.”

Twenty minutes later I was still waiting. Finally, I got up and said, “I have to leave town. Can my wife pick this up?”

“That’s no problem. We’ll let her know when it’s ready.”

Then I asked her. “Is there a generic for this because the card expires in December and I can’t afford $400 a month for this.” I gave her the generic medication names.

“It looks like the only one is ‘Yerstillscrewed’ but insurance doesn’t cover it.”

“I KNOW that, but I can get a three-month supply using GoodRx for less than half of what one of the brand-name inhalers costs.”

It’s turns out that Thieving Bastards Pharmaceuticals changed the program so that it only covers that drug up to $200/month. You know, the drug for which they set the price at $400.

I left and started my drive to Springfield. I was just about at Joliet when the phone rang.

“This is Vinnie, the enforcer, uh, business manager from the doctor’s office. I wanted to let you know that your insurance is going to pay 80% of the procedure after your deductible is met, but you haven’t met your deductible, so we want your right testicle as a down payment.” (It’s been two weeks since the initial visit and less than a week before surgery.)

“Why?”

“It’s our policy.”

“I’ve had other procedures and visits, and no one has EVER asked for money up front. You just told me what my deductible is, and you know how much I’ve met, which means you also know I’ve been paying towards it. The surgeon’s fee and the surgery center charges are likely to eat up the rest of my deductible. Again, how much is this going to cost?”

“It depends.”

“What do you mean, ’it depends?’ That’s bullshit. There’s a CPT code for the procedure, and you have a charge for it. I know that because I’m a physician and I’ve had my own charge list. You’re going to give the insurance company a bill with a CPT code. They are going to send me an EOB (Explanation of Benefits) which will tell me what YOU charged, what they allow, what they’ve paid and what my obligation is. So, to pretend this is a deep, dark secret is disingenuous. The only thing that “depends” is how much the insurance company is going to pay you and your contract with them defines their reimbursement. So, to ask me for money up front is insulting. You’re making me sound like a deadbeat.”

“No, no, we do this with everyone.” (Where have I heard that before?)

“Yeah, well no one else has ever asked me for a deposit! No one asked for a deposit before my colonoscopy, or when I went to the ER for a doppler scan for lower leg pain. Look, at this point I’m ready to cancel the whole goddam surgery and find someone else!”

“No, no, no! I’ll talk to the doctor and let him know how you feel and you can discuss it with him.”

I called Peg, who spent the next three days dealing with the office, getting nowhere. Finally, she got a call from the new office manager, a far more reasonable person. They talked for a couple of hours about what appears to the patient to be a hostile approach to payment. It was both illuminating and infuriating.

High deductible health plans are sometimes several hundred dollars a month less expensive than plans with lower deductibles. Some high-deductible plans come with Health Savings Accounts (HSAs), a Republican wet dream Paul Ryan drags out as an alternative to the ACA. HSAs are funded with pre-tax dollars – a maximum of $3450 a year for singles and $6900 for families in 2018 – which can only be used for health care expenses, at least until the account holder reaches 65. Old goats like me (over 55) get to put away an extra $1000 per year in our HSAs. The plans still come with  out-of-pocket maximums of $7,350 for singles and $14,400 for families.

This is a great idea if your income level allows you to part with a few hundred bucks a paycheck and you’ve got a tidy sum in your bank account. It sucks if you don’t have the income, the savings, or if you anticipate ongoing medical expenses.

Here’s the problem. Lower income people get high-deductible plans because the premiums are affordable, but they are at greater financial risk because they don’t have the savings to cover the deductible. They may avoid preventive care if they are unaware that most high-deductible plans cover it with no out-of-pocket costs, opting to take a chance they won’t develop a more serious (and costly) illness later. Because they often can’t afford the deductible, they are more likely to default on outstanding medical bills. Hospitals and physicians have caught on and now demand money up front.

Asking for a down payment would be far more palatable if it applied to everyone. It’s no different than a contractor asking for money up front for a pricey remodeling job. Pay some now, pay the rest when the job’s done. But framing it as something required only of people who haven’t met their deductible implies they are deadbeats and is insulting. Further, waiting until a few days before surgery to extort money is infuriating. It should all be explained up front when scheduling the surgery.

The logical solution is universal coverage, but Congress lacks the political will and there are too many people making waaaaay too much money off the current system.

Hang on, because it’s only going to get worse.

 

Stop Whining

I came across the plaintive tale of a young OB/GYN physician, Dr. W, who decided to bail out of practice after less than a decade. She gave several reasons: falling asleep while driving home and wrecking her car; missing out on birthdays and weddings; sticking herself with a needle while drawing blood from the umbilical cord of an HIV positive patient and felling like crap while taking prophylactic antiretroviral drugs. Worst of all, she discovered health care wasn’t what she thought it was when she started residency, and that physicians are “only pawn in game of life,” albeit very well-paid pawns.

I can hear the ghosts of the old timers saying, “See, we told you women had no place in medicine!” I can also hear the voices of the women with whom I went through medical school four decades ago yelling, “Shut the fuck up! Do you have any idea what we had to endure so that no one now thinks twice about women in health care?”

Being a physician isn’t a nine to five job unless you’re a dermatologist. Obstetrics is a grueling, physically demanding profession and four years of residency should have made that intuitively obvious. Babies arrive at all hours. So do emergencies like ectopic pregnancies and twisted ovaries. Someone has to take care of those patients and sometimes we must go above and beyond the call of duty in the name of patient care.  Good labor nurses frequently stay past the end of their shifts to follow through on pending deliveries.

My first post-residency job was in rural Michigan with a former fellow resident. We did every other night call which turned into solo call when one of us took vacation. Two years later I joined three ob/gyns at a staff-model HMO, doing call every fourth night and every fourth weekend. I did 250 deliveries a year, four years in a row. Sometimes it was so exhausting – I didn’t know my own name after doing thirteen deliveries one weekend – but it was nowhere near as bad as residency.

Those of us who’ve been in this biz for a while aren’t oblivious to the dangers of sleep deprivation. The Institutes of Medicine, the Joint Commission, and even The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recognize the problem. But you made one choice when you entered residency and another choice when you started practice. There’s a middle ground between working yourself into an early grave and quitting altogether. You just have to find it.

I’m a hospitalist in a town with about forty OB/GYN physicians, mostly women, in groups of six to ten. Most of them are mothers; one of them has six kids! They take call a few times a month. Yeah, sometimes staying up all night gets old, but they are making far more money than I could ever fathom and it’s hard to walk away from those golden handcuffs. Working part-time is one possibility but you can’t expect a full-time salary.

Dr. W. said, “no one wants to hear a doctor complaining about their job.” No shit, Sherlock. What makes you think physicians are the only people who work odd hours, miss out on family events and suffer from sleep deprivation? Municipal workers where I live (the Midwest) stay out all night plowing and salting snow-covered roads in the winter. Many sales reps spend a lot of time driving or flying to clients and living out of suitcases. Store managers are the first to get called in if there’s trouble – a fire, a water main break, a burglary – and they fill in on the floor when someone doesn’t show up for work. My brother-in-law calls his Asian-Pacific vendors in the dead of night because that is when they are doing business. Many of those people make a lot less money than you, but it’s part of the job and they don’t whine about it.

I had joint custody of three kids and worked full time. I picked them up from daycare and/or school, cooked dinner, bathed them and read them stories before tucking them in. I made them breakfast the next morning before getting them dressed and dropping them off. I did laundry, housekeeping and grocery shopping with no help. I missed some things, but my life was far easier than someone on active duty spending fifteen months in a war zone, just hoping to come home alive.

(c) Can Stock Photo / zabelin

I’ve never worried about acquiring HIV from a needlestick because the chances are about 3 in 1000. I don’t double-glove when I do surgery because I can stick a needle through two pairs of gloves just as easily as one. I worried more about acquiring influenza from women who came to my OB Emergency Department hawking up hairballs this past flu season.

Health care started changing in the 1970s, not the mid-aughts of the 21st century. I came of age between the Great White Fathers who could do no wrong (and who had easy access to amphetamines, so they could function like superhuman gods), and the employed physicians of today who ceded autonomy for financial security and lost both. Administrators, insurance companies and the government started telling us what to do in the mid-1980s when the money got tight. Capitation, diagnosis-related groups (DRGs), relative value units (RVUs), and the overly complicated ICD-9 coding system (now the hilariously overly complicated ICD-10 system) made unending paperwork an integral part of practice. Medical coding and billing is a multibillion-dollar industry.

I left the rat race over twenty years ago, largely because I got tired of the people who signed my paycheck lying to me. I became a locum tenens physician and traveled around the country. I made a quarter of what I could have made in private practice, but I could just do my job, get paid and go home. No meetings. No hospital politics. No turf wars. If the situation became untenable, I could give thirty days’ notice and walk, something I did only twice. And, I didn’t have to pay a $150,000 tail for liability insurance.

What troubles me now is seeing a generation of physicians for whom practice appears to be just a job to endure until they make enough money to retire. I can honestly say that for me medicine was a calling (I was thirteen when I decided to go to medical school). Now I’m just praying for a quick and painless death in lieu of spending my golden years beholden to some baby doctor who doesn’t listen, can’t think and is just going through the motions.

Crying Girl: (c) Can Stock Photo / jirousova